Dinosaurs had FEATHERS & Castles were Plastered & PAINTED! (Myths in Hollywood Movies Rant)

“You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.”

Thank you for that great truth, R. Buckminster Fuller, for that’s exactly what I intend to do with my precious time on this blessed earth!

Don’t get me wrong when I say Hollywood is a bunch of twits. I still appreciate the movies they make, even though I shake my head and laugh quietly to myself whenever I watch someone die instantly from an arrow wound or whenever I see a T. Rex without feathers. Sometimes I miss being able to watch a movie without nitpicking at myths and misconceptions. Don’t even get me started about Hollywood pirates (they didn’t wear all black and speak like modern southern Americans!)

The argument Hollywood has, in my words, is that the average person is an idiot and won’t know better if everything’s incredibly unrealistic. After all, we all love watching CSI: Miami and shows like The Wire are only rare exceptions. Hollywood argues that over-dramatization, like all women screaming horrendously during childbirth (and then there’s no caul or umbilical cord?), makes movies better. Tsk-tsk! People who drink three gallons of sodapop everyday might agree with that, but not me.

hollywood loves to lie because we're all too stupid to realize it and too fluoridated to care

My argument is that realism and research-put-into-action makes movies more educational and more entertaining as well!–A WHOLE LOT MORE ENTERTAINING (and bearable). A favorite example of this is HEMA versus Hollywood swordplay choreography. Real, historical sword fighting techniques look way more elegant and beautiful than all this spinning and flailing around that you see in movies. Don’t believe me? Watch this!

Tell me how myths and misconceptions in movies make them better? Because we’re so used to them that we can’t imagine them being any other way? Lol. People call the TV show Game of Thrones realistic. They look at Ayra cutting with a smallsword and say, “Oh, nice talent, girl!” But in reality smallswords don’t even have an edge and are meant for thrusting only! Don’t get me wrong though; I respect Game of Thrones because compared to most movies and shows it does a great job. With that said, we could still be doing better if realism is what we’re going for in a medieval TV show.

a trex without feathers is cereal without milk

Maybe I know a little more “fact versus fiction” when it comes to this stuff (still have lots to learn, of course, and even I get things wrong sometimes!), as debunking myths is my area of interest. Still, though, wouldn’t it be nice to know that the entertainment you’re watching makes sense? Making sense … ah, yes, the great antonym of NOT MAKING ANY FRICKEN SENSE AT ALL!–the reason I can’t stand to watch anime or superhero movies (sorry!).

Now I don’t believe we should go back in time and change everything. Hear what I’m saying and then re-read the quote at the top of this rant. I don’t want to change anything! I want to make new material that renders all this myth-pumped, misconception-stuffed Hollywood crap obsolete. I don’t know “how” I’m going to do this yet, but I do know “why,” which is far more important. The “how” will work itself out so long as I believe in this great calling of mine and stay active. I’m hoping this rant might glean some support. Should I make a Kickstarter? Nah, not yet. All I know is the next step.

fantasy is supposed to be full of myths and misconceptions, loser

I’ve already decided that as soon as I can afford to put a downpayment on a house and buy a fancy car, I’m going to produce a movie instead! *Beep* a house and *beep* a car! I want realistic entertainment, baby! Who else here agrees that Hollywood needs at least a few more realistic movies, especially as the audience for them is growing rapidly? Probably not many people do agree (the ones who do I love more than they’ll ever know), and that’s part of my point. We’re all brainwashed, too polite and can’t think for our-*beep*-selves!

As you can see I don’t intend to be polite about this anymore. Let me be that guy who Hollywood hates so no one else has to be. I’ll enjoy it. Just give me a movie set and then tell me if over-dramatization still makes movies better. Of course the movie will still have all the other stuff it needs to be good.

Haha! If you googled “movies with HEMA” and found this blog, it’s because THERE AREN’T ANY YET!–besides some 19th century fencing. Why is there no medieval movies with HEMA yet, you ask? Good *beep* question! It’s *beep* 2018! Let’s do something to change this. If you want to help, share this video!

People in the future will understand how serious this problem is, I hope…

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  1. Hehe, that guy is adorably into his rope! 😀 Say, are you familiar with TvTropes? They have a page called “Reality is Unrealistic”, which might be a hoot for you to read!

  2. One example I have is when the bad guy and good guy points guns at eachother… the first one that pulls the tirgger – the other one loses in real life. No sure why the movies have not picked up on this. Fun read!

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